ASRA hits BTB – Day II

Local rippers - Sean and Kelleigh, and some old farts...

It’s a little known fact that in 1979 James Hetfield of Metallica fame visited Townsville. It’s also a little known fact that before Metallica Hetfield was a guitarist in a Bee Gees cover band. He was a disco freak, all Abba and glammed to the hilt. Anyways, whilst in town(sville), Hetfield went for a stroll along the Ross River. He sat on the grass on the riverbank, daydreaming about being a disco-star, closing his eyes to the lull of the running water. What happened next changed the course of musical history. A small mosquito landed on Hetfield’s neck and delivered a quick burst of blood sucking. Hetfield swatted the mozzie but the damage was done – he had contracted Ross River Fever. Aside from running a fever of 40C, Hetfield was forever changed. When he next picked up his guitar, no disco rhythms emerged. Instead – it was pure metal!! Being the huge Metallica fans that we are, we decided to visit this river and see whether we could soak up some of the spirit of the Het, the Ross River mozzie, and that feeling of pure metal gnar. Here's what we found:

Townsville – where trees grow in rivers…

and skaters grow in trees…

T’ville’s one and only skatepark. It is hardcore up here. Robbo riding it out…

Hey kids, it's Tony Hawk!

Yours truly - Riding the Lightning, a Metallica tribute wallride

Everyone knows babies and toddlers need to do number 2 quite often. Yet this is the only place in the world where they have baby toilets attached to water fountains. A kid was on it when we first rolled by, but in post-Bill Henson Australia photos of kids are a bit sensitive. Anyways, what a brilliant concept. I’m sure this will be a big hit in Germany.

A sign of the future indeed…

K-man is an old surfdog. And like all old surfdogs, he loves hanging 5!

You gotta watch your step here in T-town. There are dangerous and poisonous animals around every corner and under every rock. I was ready to for a swim until a local yanked me back from the riverbank. “There are crocs in there mate!” he cried. “Really,” I replied, “all I see are turtles. There’s a whole family of them right there, they are so cute.” “That’s the oldest trick in the book mate. Are you a moron?” he exclaimed. “No way, I’m just from Sydney!” I replied. The leathery fellow explained “Those aren’t turtles, they are crocodiles in turtle disguises.” I was incredulous, “No way.” The man wanted to impress an out-of-towner, so he took a gerbil out of his pocket and said “Watch this.” He threw the poor squirming gerbil into the water. It landed with a splash, made a few desperate attempts to reach shore, then….CHOOOOMMPPP! No more gerbil. Life is cheap in croc territory.

These are not cute turtles – they are man-eating crocodiles!

Afflicted by the raw gnarness of Ross River and the Ross River Fever we made our way to Mt Stuart for a sneaky pre-BTB session. Ssssssh – don’t tell the organizers or they will ban us! Anyways, we thought we’d let all you first-timers know what you are in for. Holy crap!!

Tuck-train on the steepest road in Qld. This is real downhill kids. Don’t try this at home…

Kanufi, always going faster because he is in a tuck. Go Kanufi Go!

Every now and then big floods and other nebulous natural disasters afflict Queensland south of Townsville. Fresh food and water at times become a very scarce commodity. Ado “Mr. Gravity Beard” Alderson has taken precautions by growing a 45kilo Barramundi in his backyard. Don’t stick your fingers in the tank, it’ll take em off. Just ask Grits, he only has 9 fingers!

Robbo, eye to eye with Barry Barramundi. Who’s gonna eat who…?

A man and his tools... "Hello, hello? Anyone there?" Ado gets up close and personal with his industrial vacuum cleaner in a shed worthy of Mark Webber's F1 team.

Kanufi showed his outback heritage today, pulling this giant out of the Ross River. Unreal banana peel!

What’s for dinner Robbo? “Croc curry mate, croc curry!”

Stay tuned - tomorrow Robbo lays a cable! And it's BTB tech inspection. Will K-man's leathers pass inspection? Which buttboarders will be planing millimetres off the sides of their ride? Will Haggy receive a ticket for dancing with jellyfish? The shenanigans continue...