I wanna hear a joke, tell me one.
Replies to This Discussion
-
Premium MemberPermalink Reply by PC on -
How do you circumcise a whale ?
4 skin divers.
-
Premium MemberPermalink Reply by Dani on -
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
-
Premium MemberPermalink Reply by Conrad To on -
hahahahah thats so good!
Dani said:A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
-
Premium MemberPermalink Reply by blackwood on -
i think shannon has deep emotional issues and anger towards women he needs to sort out.What do you call a jewish New Zealander?Hebrew
-
Premium MemberPermalink Reply by Shannon on -
Now, to make fun of men...
Night school for men
Topic 1 - how to fill up the ice cube trays.
Step by step, with slide presentation.
Topic 2 - the toilet paper roll: do they grow on the holders?
Round table discussion.
Topic 3 - is it possible to urinate using the technique of lifting
the seat up and avoiding the floor/walls and nearby bathtub?
Group practice.
Topic 4 - fundamental differences between the laundry hamper and the floor.
Pictures and explanatory graphics.
Topic 5 - the after-dinner dishes and silverware: can they levitate
and fly into the kitchen sink?
Examples on video.
Topic 6 - loss of identity: losing the remote to your significant
other.
Helpline support and support groups.
Topic 7 - learning how to find things, starting with looking in the
right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming.
Open forum.
Topic 8 - health watch: bringing her flowers is not harmful to your
health.
Graphics and audio tape.
Topic 9 - real men ask for directions when lost.
Real life testimonials.
Topic 10 - is it genetically impossible to sit quietly as she
parallel parks?
Driving simulation.
Topic 11 - learning to live: basic differences between mother and
wife.
Online class and role playing.
Topic 12 - how to be the ideal shopping companion
Relaxation. Exercises, meditation and breathing techniques.
Topic 13 - how to fight cerebral atrophy: remembering birthdays,
anniversaries, other important dates and calling when you're going
to be late.
Cerebral shock therapy sessions and full lobotomies offered.
-
Premium MemberPermalink Reply by Shannon on -
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years.
He breaks into a house to look for money and guns (obviously an American story)
and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair.
While tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck,
then gets up and goes to the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy is an escaped convict, look at his clothes!
He has probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years.
I saw how he kissed your neck.
If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you.
Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you.
This guy is probably very dangerous if he gets angry, he'll kill us.
Be strong, honey, I love you."
To which the wife responded,
"he wasn't kissing my neck, he was whispering in my ear.
He told me he was gay and thought you were cute, he asked if we had any Vaseline.
I told him it was in the bathroom.
Be strong, honey, I love you too."
-
Premium MemberPermalink Reply by Dani on -
AHAAAAA!
Shannon said:
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years.
He breaks into a house to look for money and guns (obviously an American story)
and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair.
While tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck,
then gets up and goes to the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy is an escaped convict, look at his clothes!
He has probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years.
I saw how he kissed your neck.
If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you.
Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you.
This guy is probably very dangerous if he gets angry, he'll kill us.
Be strong, honey, I love you."
To which the wife responded,
"he wasn't kissing my neck, he was whispering in my ear.
He told me he was gay and thought you were cute, he asked if we had any Vaseline.
I told him it was in the bathroom.
Be strong, honey, I love you too."
-
Premium MemberPermalink Reply by Shannon on -
I also posted this one in an attempt to keep a level playing field:
The 5 Secrets of a Great Relationship - for women
1. It is important to find a man who works around the house,
occasionally cooks and cleans, and who has a job.
2. It is important to find a man who makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man who is dependable and doesn't lie.
4. It is important to find a man who's good in bed and who loves to
have sex with you.
5. It is extremely important that these four men never meet.
blackwood said:i think shannon has deep emotional issues and anger towards women he needs to sort out.
-
Permalink Reply by Ally Macintyre on
-
The victim was found with Semen in her ear sir.
Looks like she heard her killer...coming....
YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!1
-
ASRA AdminPermalink Reply by bernie on -
THE DIFFERENCE IF YOU MARRY AN AUSTRALIAN GIRL
Three friends married women from different parts of the world.....
The first man married a Greek girl. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning.
It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.
The second man married a Thai. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking.
The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.
The third man married a girl from Australia . He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal.
He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything either but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he pees.
-
Premium MemberPermalink Reply by Dani on -
HAHAHA! Thts why I don't dig Aussie chicks...
-
Permalink Reply by Jonty Czuchwicki on
-
scooters
© 2024 Created by Bugs.
Powered by
